Thursday, July 26, 2012

i ponder one in particular

Summertime reminds me of backyard barbeques, trips to the beach, and pool parties in the yard of my childhood home. My siblings taught me how to swim, and cheat at cards, and how to apply sunscreen. There are a lot of us: I have nine siblings, each of whom I adore. On this summer day, though, I ponder one in particular:


Diana has always been my hero. She's forever awed me with her perfect teeth, confident stride, feathered blonde hair, and blue eye shadow.

When I was a little tyke, I'd climb into her bed and pull the covers over my head whenever she'd go out with her boyfriend. I felt safe in that bed. In there, no boogeymen would get me. The pillow smelled of her perfume. As a bonus, when she returned from datenight, she'd carry me from her bed to mine. I loved clinging to her neck as she moved me quietly through the house.

A few years ago, I did something stupid that caused me the loss of her respect. No matter how hard, loud, or tearful my cries for forgiveness, my sister no longer calls. She ignores my Facebook friend requests. She recently sent me a text message, though. I keep it on my iPhone and I see it every day - kind of like having a close friend nearby.

Even though I miss and ponder Diana, I am not pining for her. While I love and adore her, I do not lament her. It took me six years to get to this peaceful place, and I got here because I became committed to having a relationship with Diana (and her wacky, loveable husband, Bob), while releasing my attachment to how a relationship may come to be. So many years after the explosion, I accept that I am how I am, and she is as she is - and it's all good.

More simply: I'm no longer attached to getting her to forgive me. Instead, I am committed to being in relationship with her - and this is a lifelong commitment; one that I will not abandon, not even if she stops wearing blue eyeshadow.

Today I ponder one in particular, a woman onto whose neck I clung so many nights as a child. When will I speak with her again? Who can say. While I miss her, I pray that she and Bob are well and happy.

I am.

Thursday, July 19, 2012

on my flight to guadalajara

On my flight to Guadalajara a couple of weeks back, I sat behind a lovely young lady. I guessed her to be about 7 or 8 years old. She kept looking at me from between the seats, speaking to me in Spanish - for the entire flight.

Every once in a while, she'd break into an English song (the only English I imagined her to know):

"There was a farmer who had a dog, and Bingo was his name-oh! B. I. N. G. O. ..."

That song became my earworm <> for the next two weeks. While folding laundry and washing dishes and brushing my teeth and fueling my car and riding my bike and shopping at Safeway and running other errands, I found myself humming, "B. I. N. G. O. ..."

I wondered: Rather than a allowing a random voice to run rampant in my cranium, wouldn't it be great to have an earworm of my own choosing? Maybe I could create an earworm of my own design?

Perhaps something like, "There was a Source who had a son, and David was his name-oh!"

Oh, don't I wish!

If you figure out how to do that, let me know, deal?

In the meantime, I am thinking of that lovely young lady and thanking her for bringing a smile to my soul and a song to my lips.

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

three things to know about working with intentions

1). an intention is not the same as a vision.

A vision is sort of like what I see when I close my eyes and imagine a new possibility - it's something that I hope will happen. This is lovely, but it does not generate anything new in my life. An intention is not a hope - it is a promise.

2). everything that is necessary for the intention to take place is inside the intention itself.

'Nuff said.

3). my GPS has no preference.

When I get into my car, I don't ask the GPS where it wants me to go. Rather, I program it with a desired destination, and the GPS guides me there by means of an efficient route. Setting an intention is as simple as programming a GPS - and then heading in that direction. 

for today, those are three things to know about working with intentions.